FRAGILE

Photo: Matilda Audas Björkholm

This post has been laying a round for a couple of days. I didn’t know if I would post it or not. It’s might too fragile and revealing, maybe I’ll regret? Maybe I should think for a little longer. Why? Shame. First of all I want to say that the photographer is great, the setting and dress was great, everybody was so kind and sweet. But oh my what a challenge it was, and still is, for me.

Remember I was going to Stockholm? This photos was the reason for going. When I got the photos back I was reminded why this was such a hard task for me, why this is not a natural thing to do, and again questioning myself why. When I’m so fragile, why do I push my limits? Many days there’s a much bigger challenge just to be present in my own mind, but still…

No clear conclusion to my question, but I guess it makes me feel brave and alive. But it also makes me down when I can see my scars so clearly. Years of a troubled mind is in that skin, and everybody can see it. At least now they can. I don’t want to feel ashamed, but I have to admit I just show you the photos I’m comfortable with. That makes you might disagree with me – both on the fact that you can see it clearly, and also about being brave, since I don’t choose to show the worst side of myself. But for me this is enough to feel both brave and uncomfortable. But I don’t regret the photoshoot, and hopefully I won’t regret this post. I need to dare to be me.

Photo: @matildastillvaro, Flowers: @skilladflorals, Location and styling: @rentalstories, Dress: @elsabillgren, Hair jewelery: @thewildroseaccessories