Impatiently waiting all week. For something special. It doesn’t matter what it was, but you know the feeling of total excitement and transformation, and that you are so certain it will happen? And that it will happen now? Just as I was about to sprout and bloom the opposite happened. I feel like a grey flower, left with numb legs and an empty head. Feel like crying lots, but holding it back. Which is no good. I want this day to be a dream. This typing to be a dream. I want to stop and buy the time I need to fix this.