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VILLA BETULA

the dark hues of maren ingeborg gråblomst

DAILY ROUTINES PART III – MY APPROACH TO MINDFULNESS

31/08/2017

This is the third and last post about my daily routines. You’ll find part one here and part two here. The third one is an “extra” because someone wanted a post about how I practice my mindfulness skills. I’ve also decided to share my “structure list” the way it looks on my phone notes, just to sum up and make it clear and listed, what I’ve talked about earlier. You find the list in the bottom of this post.

So, mindfulness! You’ve all heard about it, and it has it’s history and there’s lot to say about it. I’m not going into that part since you can find it so many other places. But what you can’t read any other places is how and why I approach it.  The reason why I startet to practice this skill I will make as short as possible in my rambling way: I always work on improve myself, to be the best of who I am, because I have some extra challenges when it comes to dealing with how I can think, feel and act. I can loose myself totally sometimes. Emotions or often constant extreme thinking is my worst enemy. It keeps me away from function in a so called ‘normal way’, and it challenges me a lot. Every day, it’s my life. If you have experienced, or do experience, something like it, you know what I’m talking about. Let’s make it simple and call it hell.

But I can, and will, get better. I have decided I will! And finally I feel healthy enough to take it a step further: practice mindfulness every day. If you struggle a lot and have huge challenges in your life, please seek professional help. And if you know someone who struggle, please don’t come with ‘great advices’ like you should read this or that book, or just download that app. Even though you want to be kind (hopefully), you’ll probably just be the one who doesn’t understand. And you don’t…

So this is for those of you who are in a state of mind when you feel ready, capable of getting further with an easier approach. I started off by reading a book about mindfulness (…but I had two years in therapy before I even considered to take this step…). There’s like thousands of books to choose from, and it’s a good idea to choose one that appeals to you. Some of them are written of specialists in both mindfulness and some kind of mental or physical diagnosis, and it can be clever to choose one of them if you have certain challenges. I did so, and I don’t dare to think of what my days would look like if I hadn’t!

So first I read a book, and I used a highlighter trough it. So glad I did. And one of my main tasks in August was to read it again and write notes at the same time. It’s the 31st of August today, so I have to admit I haven’t even started. But September, please give me a chance. The plan is to read it again and start to use more of the practices in it. They’re more rough and challenging, so for now I’ve choose a more general and basic way to get started with a daily routine: an app. Sounds too good to be true, and it would have been only a couple of months ago. I would get annoyed by seeing it, provoked. But now I know that every time I practice I make it a little easier to process thoughts and emotions.

The app is called Headspace, and it’s simple, smart, cute and kind. You can try it for free, but of course you want more, ha ha. I tried it for free for less than an hour before I knew this was one of my ways to make a mental healthy routine. So I bought it for a year. Just like that. It felt much better than to buy a lamp I was thinking of buying the night before! Headspace has several basic courses with ten sessions each. Every day at 9 a.m. I get a notification to give myself some headspace (you can choose not to get a notification), and during the day I get several “mindful moments” which are reminders that I love to get (you can turn them off, or choose to just get one. I want five!).

There’s so much I could say about the app, but I choose to tell you it’s built up by starting with the basics and then there’s lots and lots of themes in ‘minis’ (really short ones 1-3 minutes with restore, refresh, focus, unwind etc),  ‘singles’ (sleeping, falling back to sleep, stressed, frustrated, difficult conversations, how to walk, eat and cook with an mindful approach etc) and ‘packs’ (30 sessions with themes like anxiety, stress, depression, pain management and more, or 10 sessions with anger, regret, restlessness, acceptance, kindness, self-esteem and much much more…), and I’m super excited. I felt so amazing the second I was ready to go for this, that in itself is a big step. It’s not the place to start if you’re at the bottom, then you need professional help. I did, and sometimes in my life to come I will might need it again. I know that might happen.

Last words before my structure list: There’s nothing wrong with thinking, but if it keeps causing us discomfort then we need to find a way to alleviate that. Learn to be at ease with them. Imagine a world in which we witness thoughts without becoming them and experience feelings without being overwhelmed by them.

 

My structure list (the one I have on my phone to remind myself…):

Main tasks for this month:

Paint the outhouse

Write script

write notes from mindfulness book

(paint the stairs and hallway)

Every day:

Practice headspace

Make juice

Fresh air/ outdoors/ swim in the lake

Tasks from the physical therapist

One hour housekeeping

One of this months main tasks

Often:

Plan the day/ week/ month with my husband

Photograph, edit, write blogposts, Instagram

If I want to:

Make music

Listen to vinyls

Make paintings 

Paint a room/ ceiling

Write down ideas (and mail them to myself)

Bake something good, spend extra time on the kitchen

Bathtub (and green clay face mask)

Read blogs

Remember:

Do less when my daughter is here

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  1. Lorraine says

    31/08/2017 at 23:30

    A beautiful post Maren. I think it’s so unusual to read raw honest emotions and thoughts in a blog almost as they’re felt. You handle so carefully the delicate lace that is so called ‘mental stability’ which can mean so many different things to each of us. I think you sharing your thoughts and experiences of dealing with the everyday are appreciated by us all whether we think we’re ok or not. I know Headspace too but haven’t used it for a while – I found it helpful for flying as that’s when my mind feels most alien to me and I definitely don’t feel at all stable! Thanks for sharing this and as always exquisite images.

    Reply
    • villabetula says

      01/09/2017 at 09:37

      Dear Lorraine, thank you so much. I feel so grateful and humble! I love to give people something raw and honest and hear they appreciate it. Suddenly my honesty and “me” was the easiest way to be, and that’s a relief! Now give yourself a good weekend, I wish you all the best. And great to hear headspace made you little less alien while flying 😉 Love

      Reply
  2. Alice Saga says

    27/12/2017 at 13:08

    thanks SO much for sharing this:) i copied it in to my evernote and will have it guide me for my 2018 plan of being a better version of myself.

    Reply
    • villabetula says

      27/12/2017 at 17:42

      Wow, how amazing isn’t that!? Thanks a lot for letting me know, it really softens me up a lot when people share their experiences while reading my blog. Thanks again, and a happy new year! Remember to be kind to yourself while giving room for “the better version” of yourself… <3

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. 2018 WILL CARRY FRUITS says:
    18/12/2017 at 22:54

    […] lots of hard work, years of therapy, find suitable daily routines (daily routines part I, part II, part III). I’ve spent a lot of time to sort out what I need, and what lasts over time, and what […]

    Reply
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ABOUT ME

I do and share things by heart. I create personal texts, am a musician, sell original art and prints, make a special home and capture the magic with my camera – everything rather dark hued. Villa Betula is not just skimming the tops.

And by the way - my name is Maren Ingeborg Gråblomst and I’m Norwegian. Gråblomst means grey flower.

Feel free to comment on my posts and get in touch for collaborations or other inquiries at contact@villabetula.com

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