TO SLEEP IN A DORMITORY

All photos in this post: Babes in Boyland

I do get locked up in patterns and habits. The bad and good. Most the bad, maybe, but I’ve managed to get the good ones flow almost every day. Like meditation – every single day for 80 days now. A wow to me for that! There’s many things I thought I would never do, because of uncertainty and anxiety, which I got plenty of. At least in periods. One of them was to sleep in a dormitory. It excludes the possibility of time alone, it excludes the possibility to hide if you can’t cope with what’s happening around. Or within. The more “true me” have to be around others all the time. I’m a little afraid that I will disturb others if I get really tired and emotional. I don’t want to cry and someone I don’t know feel like they have to comfort me. And I don’t want to resist to cry if I feel like I can’t avoid it. It’s very challenging. Totally out of the comfort zone, but still there’s been no doubt about attending this.

I never thought I would sign up for something that included just me either. My husband and I always travel and seek inspiration together. We have a very strong “togetherness” and we enjoy it a lot. But this time it’s me. Only me on the train and the airport, only me on the airplane and in the big city and the small towns. It’s a very unfamiliar feeling for me, and you might think “oh that must be amazing, we all need time alone, how can they be so clingy!?”. To us it’ our motor – wanting to share, wanting to discover, wanting to solve – together. Not all the time, I mean, I’m photographing, filming, painting and writing and blogging, and you name it, alone. He’s composing, playing, writing and “self-educating” alone. But still we share what we learn and how it feels. The creative bubble is a place we have in common, and we can do different things but still be together in it. You get me?!? Anyone else recognizing, or does this sound like another planet?

So, early December I will, for three days and two nights, sleep in a dormitory (that dormitory must be the sweetest that exist though!), share all meals with people I’ve never met, do yoga in a group in the mornings and work on photography and styling workshops with talented (gosh, a “star-struck-rush” just flew trough my body) people, several of them kind of “in the game”. People who inspires me every day, and new people to discover. That’s what I’m treating myself with, and I have no choice but to let the anxiety and emotional bugs join me in my suitcase. No reason to try and look them up at home before I go – then I’m sure they’re there, behind my little curtain at the dormitory.

I’m v e r y excited about this whole thing though, and I keep pushing myself. Towards the good things! I’m seriously looking forward to meet Matilda and Nathalie at Babes in Boyland for a workshop and retreat, and I’m excited to see who else who’s found their way there. And to be at this amazing place, a former chapel. I want to share my journey with you while I’m there.